We had been discussing an asset-based approach to building community connections. We have focused on being curious about the assets in the community, which sometimes requires a shift from being transactional to becoming more relational. Last week, Laura shared a story with me that wonderfully captures many of these elements:
Laura has been working on relationship-building techniques, shifting from transactional to relational approaches. When she discovered Michael loved bikes, she decided to try something different.
Instead of looking for a “bike program” or “adaptive cycling services,” Laura simply walked into Billy’s bike shop in his neighbourhood. There were no titles, service plans, agency identification, or formal anything—just two people following an interest.
Laura’s story has so much to teach us: She didn’t walk into that shop focusing on what Michael needed. She walked in, focusing on what he loved. That’s the first principle of asset-based community development—we start with gifts, not deficits.
When Michael immediately connects with Billy, standing close to him in a way that tells you something real is happening, Laura doesn’t try to manage or facilitate it. She lets the connection happen naturally. Then she does something brilliant—she asks Billy about his interests beyond bikes.
Many people get this part wrong. They think the conversation should be about accommodations, special needs or a job. But Laura understood that genuine relationships start when we talk to people about what they love, not what problems they can solve for us.
What happened next is why I love this story so much. Laura discovered that Billy had only been in business for one year, and his anniversary was on July 4th. Instead of just taking from this relationship, she offered Billy a cake to celebrate. And here’s the crucial part—she followed through. On July 4th, Laura and Michael showed up with the cake. They celebrated Billy’s one-year business anniversary with genuine joy. This wasn’t about Michael getting services but about community members recognizing and celebrating each other’s accomplishments.
That’s worth celebrating!